I was diagnosed with HIV in March 1993, when I fell ill with pneumonia (PCP) and was admitted to hospital for 5 weeks. A collapsed lung and an adverse drug reaction to the treatment made my stay longer than it otherwise would have been. In the following two years I had PCP a further 4 times, two episodes of Toxoplasmosis (brain lesions), septecaemia and pancreatitis, chronic aneamia, as well as the annoying but not life threatening conditions of Molluscum, candida, oral hairy leucoplakia and sebhorraic dermatitis. All this with a t-cell count of about 0 and a viral load of we don't know, because the test was not available then. I did not want to start on medication, as the only drug that was available at that time was AZT, and I had seen how it had affected friends of mine.

I was afraid. Afraid of giving in, of the side effects, of dying, of living and I knew that it was not the right time for me to go down that road.

It took me several attempts and a number of years to finally get on to drug therapy (HAART), as the fear of possible side effects was quite strong. It was only when day to day living was becoming difficult due to all the 'peripheral' problems I was experiencing, that I finally realised I had to give them a go. I am glad I did, as my t-cell count rose to just over 200, and my viral load became undetectable. There they have remained. The numbers fluctuate but are stable.